My blogging track record

I think that anyone who has used the internet to a large degree in their life has stopped at some point and thought "Hey. I'm clever, funny, attractive, and all around cool. Why wouldn't someone want to hear all about the shit that I think about?" and has tried to start a blog. This is just a side-effect of being on the internet. There's no shame in it, and no avoiding it. I, however, have enough pride and arrogance in me that I have tried and failed to start three blogs if you count this attempt, 1 tumblr, and one video blog on youtube. I'm apparently so thrillingly funny and interesting, that despite my apparent inability to focus on a blog long enough to get to my one month mark, I try and try again, hoping that one day I will become a responsible enough internet adult to update with any consistency.

I will now proceed to honor my previous blogging experiences with honorable mentions before we disembark on our journey into the land of lolbitches.

1. Unsolicited Feedback #1
I came up with the idea for a magazine column for another, excessively dorky creative venture of mine, and I liked it. I thought "I could write this column. It would be absolutely, break your face in half hilarious. I'm doing it"
I got about 2 entries in and lost interest. See that promise for a new entry? It will never be kept. My loyal followers will be waiting forever for that post.


2. The Cowpatty Chronicles
Having failed at my attempt to write a humorous and somewhat educational blog I decided, after reading the daily coyote blog that I would like to do a photographic adventure in adopting shelter animals and the trials and rewards that come with it. I got much farther in this venture than the first, but somewhere along the line I stopped wanting to yap about my pets.


3. Lolbitches Tumblr
This is actually technically still in operation, but it's for my own joy and happiness only. I have no theme and post only things that I like. Anyone who doesn't like this may choose not to watch it, but this would be a mistake since it is the epitome of everything in this world that is funny and awesome.


4. Unsolicited Feedback the Vlog
This was my most successful venture into the blogging hobby. I had several episodes, all that got quite a few views and mostly positive feedback. I deterred from my intended topic, but everyone seemed to enjoy it still so I didn't mind. I talked about everything and one day told funny stories about being in awkward bathroom situations. My viewing numbers rose dramatically. At first I thought that people were just enjoying my videos. People thought I was funny! My heart leapt, fluttered, and danced in girlish glee at the thought. I spread my arms and cried to the heavens "They LIKE me! They REALLY like me!". That's when it happened. From the dark, wretched bowels of youtube they made themselves known. Comments and messages started flooding in requesting that I video myself defecating and post it for the pleasure of my new poop fetish viewers.

I balked. There are a lot of things I can take. I can take flaming, I can take the hate, but when I get people incessantly asking me to crap on screen for them to whack off to I draw a line. I abandoned my rise into Youtube fame in exchange for licking my emotional wounds.


5. Lolbitches THE BLOG
And now here we are. We stand in the echoing hallways of a brand new, shiny blog. It still smells like new paint and loneliness, but soon it will reek of awesome and unicorn magic. Are you excited? You damn well better be.